Then my hair fell out.
Twice.
A reminder that this is real.
I actually look like a cancer patient.
At 23, my body is broken and I'm bald.
And I didn't complete my course of radiotherapy because I became too sick. Medulloblastoma is a high grade tumour that returns. It could return whether I finished the radiotherapy or not. The being with not knowing is extremely difficult.
I'm posting today because I'm bald; because I hate being bald. I hate being bald and wearing my cancer hat. I experience genuine jealousy at other's lovely, long, lustrous locks.
Despite hating being bald, I won't hide it. It's winter, so my head gets cold a lot and my cancer hat plus a woolly hat is usually necessary. However, when indoors and warm, I won't hide my baldness- despite the funny looks. I won't hide my baldness because cancer isn't terrifying as many think it is. That's what I want to talk about today.
Everyone talks of 'fighting' cancer, 'standing up to' cancer as though it is animate. I hate the personification of cancer. It is not some evil entity, here to strike down and steal your family members. It's a horrible disease, that comes in many shapes and forms and its treatment can be quite medieval (especially for brain tumours). I won't hide my baldness because I'm not scared of cancer itself. And I want to show other people it's not something to live in fear of.
There are hundreds of other illnesses that break people, that take away their livelihood, that make people feel as though they have lost themselves; not just cancer.
I won't hide my baldness because it should be The Wee C, not The Big C. The Scottish Government is currently running a campaign to spread cancer awareness and reduce the fear associated with cancer, in an endeavour to get people to be more cancer-smart and get checked if something isn't right or indeed, routine screening.
http://www.theweec.org #getchecked
